The Circumference
The inner critic lost its voice once I knew I had a choice.
“You can, you cant, you will, you won’t.
My wicked within my inner scapegoat.
She shuts me down and spits me out; my mother’s voice I have no doubt.
Inner heritage so long drawn kept me weak and so forlorn.
Inner critic fuck right off I’m stepping in to take true stock.
It’s not ok to run my show, the huffs and puffs and inner blows.
Little red riding hood knew the truth she let him in he was so uncouth.
Fuck that shit I say it loud.
My grace is real and I am proud.
They are breaking the truth to cast a spell and are desperate to create a living hell.
So can I swear, may I please? … The inner critic had my knees, buckled my back and sat on me, I could not breathe and you did see.
It’s not ok I am biting back. I did not come to simply crack.
Don’t tell the truth and do not speak but I won’t give a shit go weep.
Mummy dearest let me go I want to individuate you know.
I had no choices you coiled me in all I was your inner spin.
And spiritual man well they shall say forgive your parents, by the way.
Pretty fucked that human mess and no one else can readdress.
What was lost and yes was found I decided to not let in the hounds.
I fought them wild and much in sleep and my body writhed and I did weep.
Often I awoke through the night with sleep paralysis and my insight.
I flipped them off the rotten ones I knew that I would not succumb.
So here no saviours but inner guides and girlfriends who are by my side.
The beauty that I see in them and truthful stories and the invisible men.
Wanting what? Do you want from me? Go and climb another tree.
And easier it did become because my soul did not succumb.”
Penelope Ryder March 29, 2022
A bit of deep satisfying shadow work there … for those that know me will know. We must know we are acceptable and secrets need not be so .. we are here to express and yes in our own way and time .. and express we must. It’s a long story that is forever unravelling. You matter as do I we came to swim, and jump and fly.
