Traumatised?

Words Have Wings

What we speak matters and what we do not speak matters. I have been on both ends of receiving unspeakable words of cruelty and hearing them spoken to others. I have also seen how not speaking up can be in part the effects of being traumatised or of living in fear. Not clearly saying what needs to be said in fear of causing the death of someone, not literal.

I was told my words as an older but still young woman that I would give my parent a heart attack via my wanting to be heard. All I wanted was to be heard about the violations that I suffered under the same roof and being thrown into a children's home as a kid. I wanted to understand it. They all stuffed wool in their ears.

It has taken me literally if I live to one hundred half my life to speak openly with no shame and no guilt. To not dissociate with alcohol, recreational drugs or other. The past yes alcohol-free cookie I am since 2012 ... well done me.

I find often when we speak to people on a subject, they start defending themselves on a subject when you know you are not talking about them you are explaining your life story. We all need lessons in listening without jumping into either one to defend ourselves or two to prove ourselves or three to think we can fix someone.

A lot can be said in a healthy, healing tone and without using disparaging language.

I am also often heavily shocked when we are or choose to be vulnerable with another fellow earth soul and they then for whatever their reasoning use your vulnerability against you and curse you as well with not well-thought-out words projecting their own reactive shit onto one.

We live in a time where we think fake relationships are meaningful when we spend no time with people nor bother to listen or give people our time. When we want the drip and miss the attention, we hit the feed scroll Facebook etc post something meaningless and have a pointless conversation/comment that no one cares about.

Surface ice slippery surface world we live in. Give me depth please ... real talk. Like “How are you?” I do this often and it confuses some people I ask them how they are and then sometimes I hear their tone or a look on their face and I ask again. I maybe am a see-er and I am a doer.

I spent many hours, days and years exploring my own mind and I have got quite good at calling myself out on my own shit. I know I can be annoying to some I am pretty pedantic with words. A few of you reading this who know me will know that to be the case.

Throw a one-liner at me like let it go and forgive or forgive yourself and I will call people out. Dig deep we need each other to be heard and not all one-liners suit all people under all circumstances.

Words matter and how things are said matters. We are responsible for what comes out of our mouths and seems many have not put two and two together.

Yes, words have wings and what we say affects others and the words we think affect us as well. Language, feelings, yes people feel things from words. Words can brainwash people; some words are troublesome like death for instance others are delightful.

So, what is my message a little opening up on substack with a bundle of thought ... this came out. Where do all these thoughts come from?

I am here and if you are reading this then so are you ... words matter so if you have had trauma and catch yourself in the fight, flight, freeze or fawn response mode let people know. It's okay not to have perfect Stepford wife prose. It’s ok to stumble but it is not ok to be mean just because you had a shitty day.

Words have Wings use them well!

Have a wonderful weekend, Love Penelope