Vulnerability

The picture below is four and a half years and me in a place of vulnerability and in the depth of deep sadness, loss, abandonment and betrayal.

Six months previous to the picture I had entered into an abreaction defined below; it was not caused by hypnosis but via repressed emotions and there was no turning back starting at the end of 2016.

I began the reliving of unexplored and unhealed tragic trauma that was had been repressed due to being a “warrior”. I have a story as we all do, some harder than others but all equal in ways.

I do believe we are souls and that much of what hurts us is not just from this life's timeline. We can not be 100% of past lives however am certain I feel my soul. The photo was a split second of a moment of my then reality.

Feeling and need beings we are and we need never have any shame in that. Vulnerability and getting to know ourselves is a beautiful thing. We are not one thing we are many things.

I did go on to two years of trauma psychoanalysis 2018 -2020 and the wisdom gained and books read have been mind-blowing in ways that I am beyond grateful for.

I see the young girl in the woman here. I honour all she is and I know her trials and her truth all of it. No one can know fully and no one can judge us fully in reality. Sadness comes and goes and so as for our fears. We are not here forever so may we have the courage to be ourselves every step of the way. To make our lives wonderful and wholesome.

I am sharing the picture and I know I had pain and a teardrop there and a beautiful capture/reminder of how far I have come.

There is help in the world when we are ready we can ask. There are also good people and when we hit bottom we may not realise that we are loved and people who do and will care.

I have a ladies group meeting twice a week on meetup and current it is free. I have been doing them all the way through 2020 to now January 2022. Meet Up Zoom meetings “190” in total and have met some great ladies. We assist each other in healing the inner child and releasing or at least understanding co-dependency.

Here is the meetup link for ladies … join and RSVP: https://www.meetup.com/peneloperyder-mentor/