We Rise

Codependent and narcissistic style tendencies are rife in society and in many relationships today between the masculine and the feminine, families, friendships, places of work and in institutions, governmental and other.

We must look within to heal. The woundings have been heavily imprinted via the collective and then via the individual consciousness or lack thereof.

We can guide ourselves knowingly in dealings with others to “remove all pedal stalls”. Also, it is very important and something to simplify is to know if someone is being “cruel” to know that is your exit point. Many of us can overanalyze cruelty from another or others instead of calling it out for what it is.

Interactions with each other are not cut and dried. It takes introspection, empathy for self and others, listening to our inner needs and looking at our own traumas. Not looking at our own trauma and unhealed trauma may cause us to project unmet needs onto others. As we heal the outer critic calms down and this happens by softening our inner critic see links underlined for more information via Pete Walker’s website.

In friendships and in matters of the heart we need similar values, respect and kindness for relations to grow. Sometimes confrontations occur along the path. As we confront ourselves and look within we may soften our hearts toward ourselves and others. As we heal we make healthier choices. It is good to remember healing is not “all or nothing” and to think it is “all or nothing” can set us up for failure.

Both the masculine and feminine reside in all of us, the shadow aspects run deep; it is worth looking at Carl Jung’s work “The Anima & Animus”. What we consider to be an ideal may not be realistic nor meet our needs. One way to get to know our true feelings and needs is to look at a system called “Non-Violent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg. We can learn to communicate and learn skills to ask for unmet needs to be met in healthy ways.

Writing therapy can help uncover unhealed pain and help us reflect to make better choices. Also, writing poetry and journalling can shed some light on our feelings and needs. Writing can also bring clarity and help us let off steam.

Here are a few sentences below I wrote earlier today reflective of my inner world in a moment of trying to figure something out:

“My needs are my seeds formed deep within and each interaction I plant to begin”.

“My intentions are wise and deep and strong, my awareness, my longing, my inner song.”

“The seeds that I planted, some planted in doubt I watered and nurtured and yet full of doubt. My doubt intuited, wrong place and the wrong time, I kept trying to nurture that which was not mine.”

“I’m learning, I’m learning to not cross myself I knew that this soil was bad for my health. The water was murky and no love within and yet still proceeded and continued to spin. The way out is through my own heart I am my hero and never apart”.

“The seeking of others to water my seed took me forever to get up to speed.”

We are more often than not forced into looking at our relationship issues as we move through life. There is no foolproof answer and we can not avoid pain and mishaps. We must look at self-worth issues and watch out for the Neptunian style beliefs we place onto others making man into God etc.

Working on ourselves knowingly asking what caused us trauma with the intention of forming healthy relations bit by bit we flourish getting to save ourselves time spent in pain.

We can move our lives in a new direction making it wonderful as at the end of the day it is not meant to be about continuous hard life lessons. Yes in part we have cycles of pain and glory and if we can learn to be an ally for ourselves then life shall improve.

Photo Credit https://unsplash.com/@sommi